Admission Essay

Admission Essay I heard nothing but the gentle hum of the air conditioner accompanied by the whirring of the electric foot rasp, and the occasional ring of a phone echoing through the hallway of closed doors. My mom had become a therapist attending her clients’ hands and feet under a white-bulb lamp with watchful eyes and open ears. A man hurrying by bumped into my shoulder as I continued down the street, bringing my mind back to the present. As I got older, I realized that there are more worry lines than laugh lines. Deep trenches of lineaments cross her forehead, revealing the hardships of a childhood spent in poverty. My mother left her own family behind, but keeps the door open to those who seek to be a part of ours. Reluctantly, I realized I had to open my own door as well. Nobody there knew who I was or cared about my accomplishments. I seemed to be removed from the little town as I continued to wander. I felt naked as my safety blankets of being recognized or at the very least understood on a verbal level were stripped away, for the Puerto Ricans did not care about my achievements or past life. After that night, dad immediately resumed working his AA program, but I found myself stuck to work out my emotions alone. After weeks of songwriting and immersing myself in music, I determined that trust, vulnerability, and acceptance are love’s inherent ingredients. I found I could apply my acceptance of his relapse to different experiences in my life, whether teenage gossip or catastrophe. I can’t control the actions of others; I can only alter my perspective. Thanks to my mentors, I can identify and create almost every type of Northeastern mayfly, caddisfly, and stonefly. I was as much of a clean slate to them as they were to me. My previous need for control had come from growing up with strict parents, coaches, and expectations from my school and community. Learning in an environment without lenience for error or interpretation meant I fought for control wherever I could get it. This manifested itself in the form of overthinking every move and pass in soccer games, restricting the creativity of my play, and hurting the team. After years of fighting myself and others for control, I realized it was my struggle for control that was restricting me in the first place. You might end by sharing something meaningful that that teacher said to you, or briefly summarizing how you grew as a person after taking their class. It's tempting to embellish or overstate what you've done when you're trying to make yourself stand apart from others. The most recent are the lines chiseled around her thin mouth, as if out of marble. They are from pursing her lips in an attempt to suppress the pain after my Papou was taken by the same merciless hands that took her daughter away, but this time, those hands looked like cancer. The Inclusion, Access, and Success and Government Relations Committees recently collaborated on a joint statement regarding important issues being debated in our nation. We encourage everyone to read this piece and get involved within the IACAC community and beyond. In addition to excessive wordiness, check for unnecessary tangents. When you're drafting your essay, you may end up adding things you didn't originally plan on. Don't use the same words over and over in your essay. Most word processing software has a “thesaurus” function. If you find you're repeating the same words, use it. Go through your essay and make sure these points serve the main purpose of your essay. After you've drafted your essay, walk away from it for a while. Once you come back to it, it can be easier to see where it needs editing, what you can keep, and what just doesn't work. A powerful closing statement is just as important as a good opener. Look for a way to connect the ending of your essay to the themes you presented at the beginning.